Why is my hair so unmanageable post-protective style?

UPDATE: Check out my new and better routine for taking down hair post-crochet braids

I swear, I am trying to decide if I should get over it and just accept that I am gonna 90% of the time be in pain when trying to manage the hair on my head. Gosh it hurts! I feel like that is why I have such a high tolerance for pain because my tender-headedness since birth has prepared me for the worst case scenario - childbirth! I kid. But I am really serious and slightly annoyed.

I took out my crochet braids last night, combed it out with some Coconut Oil, washed it, put some henna on it, then deep conditioned it over night with some Jessicurl Deep Conditioning Treatment. I thought I did everything right in preparation for conditioning and lubricating my hair well for my salon appointment the next day (which included a protein treatment!) - but I just felt bad for the hair stylist breaking a sweat over trying to tackle the tangly little areas all over my head and trying to give it a good press (I honestly think I over-tip them for their troubles because of this). My biggest question is, why does this happen after every protective style?! From Box Braids to my last crochet braids style my hair afterwards was just treacherous!

Now I do understand when your hair is cornrowed or braided up in protective styles you hair sheds (goes through growth cycles) and you have to comb that mess out before doing anything. Next, you hair is thirsty for some moisture and protein post protective-style and you have to give it to your hair soon! After that, you have to let your hair rest/breathe i.e. don't just wait 2 hours to go re-cornrow and sew back on a weave (this is debatable but your hair does need to be just hair for a minute). Despite this knowledge I have gained from books like Natural Woman / Natural Hair and blogs I still come out of protective styles like I have been lost in the dessert for three weeks. It is just so dry and tangly! And after the hair salon my poor head is just so sore. Sometimes I just wanna go home and cut it off and wear a 1cm afro and call it a life.

Despite my frustrations I continually try to strive to find a balance of what works for my hair. I decided for the next time I should definitely deep condition with whatever protective style I'm wearing at the time (At least three or four times while I have it in). I have dry hair and I need to do more than just moisturize it every other day. I also think I am not going to use henna or combine my henna treatment with a conditioner to lessen the drying effect and tangling/natting.  Lastly, I might just start using the Mizani Thermasmooth System (despite the chemicals) again for hair straightening although there are complaints that it changes your curl pattern - frankly I will find that hard to believe for my hair, given it reverts back to an in between blow dry/press look within a day. Any other suggestions let me know!